Friday, June 29, 2012

Still Not There Yet

Life is crazy.  After three weeks of dealing with intense issues from having mono, I then dealt with intense issues from my dad being in the hospital for a week.  Since then, life has just gotten more stressful.  And with a big trip coming up next week (one which I had hoped to be svelte for, but am not) I am still in stress mode.

But after some searching I have found what I hope will be a strategy for me to get back into exercise.  I've been out of it for basically two months, and have little energy because of the lack of activity and the mono recovery.  And the stress!

I have found, on Pinterest, a simple and doable (for me) home circuit training routine from the blog Blissfully Ever After.  I am going to try out the beginner list for a while and see how that helps.   So many of the home workout lists I have found are just too overwhelming for me right now.  This one requires no equipment (beyond a chair) and more importantly, IT IS A SHORT LIST.  Granted, you need to repeat the circuit.  But I just cannot go hard core right now.  I am exhausted.  

Each exercise is one minute long--either holding for one minute or doing as many reps as possible for one minute.  There is also a moderate and an advanced circuit list on this site, along with pics of most of the exercises.

I also really want to get back into running, er, attempting running.  Couch to 5k will begin today!  And this time, I am going to stay on each week's or day's plan until I am totally comfortable with it and find it easy.  No pressure.  No feeling scared of the coming week.  Right now, the most important thing for me to do is to MOVE!

Well, that and find a way to quit the emotional eating.  I have never had stress like this before and have never found myself so drawn to food as my drug of choice to deal with said stress.  It's almost uncontrollable.  But I know that all the exercise in the world is not going to do a lot of good if I keep downing Butterfingers and Little Debbie Zebra Cakes (can someone erase yesterday from my body please?) like they are going out of style.

Anyhow, I know it's been a long while since I've posted and I know I hardly have any followers.  But I just wanted to put this "out there"...that I'm trying hard to claw my way back to the fitness level I had before (which wasn't all that great, but it's better than what I have now).  And I am not giving up on trying to be healthier.  I have had to really think about my goals, and will probably rework them.  But I really have a desire to feel fit.  And enjoy the fringe benefits that go with that!

And I just can't seem to give up on the running thing.  I am not built for it, but I just WANT to run.  I want to be able to do it.  I can't explain it very well, but I feel driven to keep trying.  

I won't be around much over the next few weeks, but I'm on my way back.  Wish me luck!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Slowly Coming Back to Life...

Well, the big "thing" is over.  The thing that was sucking the life out of me is pretty much over.  I was so looking forward to celebrating it this week by resting and smiling and floating around the house.

Well, I got the resting part right.

I've been sick for a WHOLE week now.  I was able to fight it off enough to get through the days until Sunday. Sunday through today have basically been bed-days.  I am hoping that tomorrow I can get back into the swing of things.  Slowly.

Exercise, however, will not be included in "the swing of things."  I'm pretty weak.  But I am trying to make some plans.  Because you see, I have some renewed hope.

I have lost weight.

Granted, I gained over the last few weeks.  But in the last two weeks I've lost almost 4.5 pounds.  I've been working with a new fancy pedometer type thing (that I'll report on was a Mother's Day gift).  Anyway, it seems to be helping.

And now that my big ol' obligation is done, I feel like I can focus on a new strategy.  This new strategy can't be super complicated or I won't do it.  So I'm starting off with just a couple of simple steps:

  1. Use my new fancy pedometer type thing to shoot for as many steps a day as I can....maybe 6k at first.
  2. Start up with Couch to 5k again, but this time stay on each week until I feel like it's a breeze.  

As for getting ripped, that'll simply have to wait.  I can only focus on a couple of things at a time right now.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Just so I can Pin it

Someone shared this pic on Facebook and I loved it so much I wanted to Pin it, but you can't Pin from Facebook, so here it is:

People who constantly interrupt you....major pet peeve of mine.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Witty Wednesday: "Oh Grass,..."

Stop it...
found on Pinterest via Tumblr

Yes, grass.  You are hilarious.

That is, until "someone" decides to weed-whack the overgrown grass and weeds in the garden and in the process accidentally severs all the stems of my Clematis vine that is FINALLY blooming and doing well.

Then, grass, you become my enemy.

Okay, wasn't your fault.  But whose fault was it?

First I was mad at the someone.  Then I was just mad at me.  And sad.  Mad because I feel like if I had just stayed on top of the garden tasks, that tiny Clematis vine wouldn't have gotten lost in the weeds which then got whacked.  Sad because, in the midst of my passion-for-gardening-but-no-time-to-garden world, I finally had a success moment....that few seconds where I saw the blooms peeking out from under the Lady Banks vine and thought:

"YES!  I'm not a total loser!  Something grew despite me!"

<record scratch>

"Wait...what the?"

So now this seemingly small event has snowballed into a full-blown pity party fiesta shindig extravaganza.  Care to read my pity cue cards?
  • You are such a loser.  You can't even keep up with one small fenced in garden.
  • You never finish anything.
  • When are you ever gonna follow through on gardening?
  • When are you ever gonna follow through on anything?
  • Speaking of "anything", when are you finally gonna:
    • lose weight?
    • dejunk the bathroom closet?
    • sew from the bzillion sewing patterns you have "collected"?
    • paint the kids' rooms?
    • lose weight?
    • finish proofing that history series you received as an advance barter payment on the proofing?
    • update your food storage inventory?
    • replace that broken garage window?
    • update the recipe blog design that you've been promising?
    • lose weight?
    • yadda, yadda, yadda...
Man.  One vine bites the dust and I'm at the bottom of the Pit of Despair.....don't even think....<cough, hack, cough>...don't even think about trying to escape.

<SCREECH>  Sorry to go all Princess Bride on you.

I'm just feeling a little like life is slipping away from me and I'm not accomplishing anything.  Everywhere I turn is some unfinished project, some mess, some neglected corner of my home.  And they're yelling at me.  All of them.  And they have the same cue cards that I do!  Who gave them those?!

I guess it has just turned into an Eeyore kind of day.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Witty Wednesday: Nothing Tastes as Good as Skinny Feels....


I'm still alive!  Hanging in there....still walking for miles.  Still thinking about the future of this blog/journey.  Still evaluating my goals.  Still wondering what is realistic and healthy, both emotionally and physically.

I have about a month left until I am able to rid myself of a burden that has been weighing me down for a while now.  Once that burden is gone, I wonder if the weight will start to come off easier.  Honestly, when I look back at when the weight STOPPED coming off, it was right about the time when this burden became quite a bit heavier.  I'm interested to see how/if my body reacts to this stress removal!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Checking In...Witty Wednesday



I'm sure you've guessed that this blog is slowly fading away.  And I'm okay with that.  My goals have changed, but I haven't formally changed them on here, nor have I finished the journey to my new mindset.  Right now, I'm just trying to be calm, not go to the other extreme, and exorcise some demons in my life.

Some of those demons are self-imposed.  Some are actual people.  Some are just life stresses that have to be dealt with.

I'm still maintaining.  No real gains or losses to speak of.  But I have not been eating very healthily.  I expected as much.  Once, about twenty years ago, I "gave up" dieting and promptly gained 5 pounds in one week!  I rebelled against the restrictive nature of diets by going hog wild.  But then, as I realized that it didn't have to be diet and it didn't have to be pig-out, that there was a happy medium, the weight started to go down.

I'm older now and the weight is not dropping off yet.  But I think I'm still in a bit of rebellion against trying so hard to lose weight.  I'm still sowing my wild oats, so to speak.  I'm enjoying the freedom of not restricting myself.  I'm trying to embrace a new mindset of moderation.

I'm getting there, be it ever so slowly.

And this relaxing couldn't have come at a better time.  I'm currently faced with a very stressful situation in my personal life that is draining the life right out of me.  But I've finally decided on a course of action that will relieve most of this stress.

But it comes with a price.  And that price has brought some sadness to me, but I know in my very core what has to be done.  I'm very much at peace with this decision and feel it's for the best.  I will lose a friend because of it (although, as it turns out, she was lost to me already).  But you can only breathe in the toxic fumes of a dysfunctional friendship for so long before you either have to become toxic yourself or get out in the fresh air--for good.

So NOT dieting or worrying about pounds, miles, and calories has been such a huge relief right now.  I'm still trying to exercise (but my sleep cycle is totally screwed up right now) and am looking forward to listening to FOUR cd's of workout playlists lovingly made and sent by C-squared in California.  How lovely to have friends who think enough of you to go to that trouble.  Thanks, CC!!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Motivational Monday: What I Need

love yourself and be happy 

I'm almost there.  It is taking me longer than I thought to come to a decision about my fitness future, but I am almost there.  I see some major goal-changing in my near future, as well as some thought-shifting.

But for now, this is what I need.  To love myself.  To love my body....this wonderful body that moves and breathes.  This beautiful body that has strength and health.  This amazing machine, given to me as a gift from God.

I've got to stop looking the gift-horse in the mouth.