Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Witty Wednesday: "Oh Grass,..."

Stop it...
found on Pinterest via Tumblr

Yes, grass.  You are hilarious.

That is, until "someone" decides to weed-whack the overgrown grass and weeds in the garden and in the process accidentally severs all the stems of my Clematis vine that is FINALLY blooming and doing well.

Then, grass, you become my enemy.

Okay, wasn't your fault.  But whose fault was it?

First I was mad at the someone.  Then I was just mad at me.  And sad.  Mad because I feel like if I had just stayed on top of the garden tasks, that tiny Clematis vine wouldn't have gotten lost in the weeds which then got whacked.  Sad because, in the midst of my passion-for-gardening-but-no-time-to-garden world, I finally had a success moment....that few seconds where I saw the blooms peeking out from under the Lady Banks vine and thought:

"YES!  I'm not a total loser!  Something grew despite me!"

<record scratch>

"Wait...what the?"

So now this seemingly small event has snowballed into a full-blown pity party fiesta shindig extravaganza.  Care to read my pity cue cards?
  • You are such a loser.  You can't even keep up with one small fenced in garden.
  • You never finish anything.
  • When are you ever gonna follow through on gardening?
  • When are you ever gonna follow through on anything?
  • Speaking of "anything", when are you finally gonna:
    • lose weight?
    • dejunk the bathroom closet?
    • sew from the bzillion sewing patterns you have "collected"?
    • paint the kids' rooms?
    • lose weight?
    • finish proofing that history series you received as an advance barter payment on the proofing?
    • update your food storage inventory?
    • replace that broken garage window?
    • update the recipe blog design that you've been promising?
    • lose weight?
    • yadda, yadda, yadda...
Man.  One vine bites the dust and I'm at the bottom of the Pit of Despair.....don't even think....<cough, hack, cough>...don't even think about trying to escape.

<SCREECH>  Sorry to go all Princess Bride on you.

I'm just feeling a little like life is slipping away from me and I'm not accomplishing anything.  Everywhere I turn is some unfinished project, some mess, some neglected corner of my home.  And they're yelling at me.  All of them.  And they have the same cue cards that I do!  Who gave them those?!

I guess it has just turned into an Eeyore kind of day.


  1. I am in the same "party" boat. Unfinished stuff all over the place, overweight, forgot to turn the icemaker on AGAIN after I just "defrosted" the fridge overnight because it won't make ice (maybe it's a frozen blockage somewhere), bonus room's a wreck because I decided to redo the closet with all the craft/DVD/VHS etc. storage and had to stop to fix supper two nights ago...yadda, yadda, yadda

  2. Sorry I wrecked the clematis!

  3. Okay, Sister Step away from the pity cue cards and no one will get hurt!!
    My sister in law just went to time out for women and this is something that Hillary Weeks talked about... Here's what she said: "I heard someone say we think over 300 negative thoughts a day. I was compelled to find out if that was true. So I bought a clicker - and started counting. Each day for one week, I clicked and counted my negative thoughts. After seven days of clicking each discouraging, gloomy, depressing thought - I felt discouraged, gloomy and depressed!

    With that realization, the experiment changed. What would happen if I clicked all of my positive, uplifting, optimistic thoughts? Would I feel positive, uplifted and optimistic?

    That is exactly what happened. Clicking heightened feelings of motivation, strength and confidence I had never felt before."

    You are just in a negativity spiral! Change the mental channel!! Sing a hymn... Sing... "I am beautiful no matter what they say, words can't bring me down!" Say a prayer. This one works for me... I sometimes get frustrated with myself when I'm grouchy or so negative so I lock myself in the bathroom and say a prayer and ask for the feelings to be taken away. It always helps! (sometimes I have to say 2 prayers though!) :)

    Chin up! At least you planted something! Some people haven't even started a garden... or kill everything they touch!


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